


Time to Fix Some Hives

by TooBusyWriting



Series: Pun Wars [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Allergies, Brotherly Affection, Gen, Hiding Medical Issues, I guess this counts as that lol, Kix is DoneTM, Kix is so stressed someone help him, Muja Fruit, Newfound Allergies, allergic reactions, and by that I mean bickering and teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24675169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooBusyWriting/pseuds/TooBusyWriting
Summary: “Hey, was Prime allergic to anything?” Fives asked casually.“I don’t think so," Kix replied, swiping through a datapad. "But if so, the Kaminoans probably engineered it away. Why?”“Uh, I think I might’ve gotten it.”“Fives! Vod!" Kix looked like his blood pressure just skyrocketed. He let out a sound that didn’t quite sound human.-In which Fives gets some hives and Kix has to fix it.
Relationships: CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-5385 | Tup, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-6116 | Kix, CT-5597 | Jesse & CT-6116 | Kix
Series: Pun Wars [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770124
Comments: 14
Kudos: 109





	Time to Fix Some Hives

**Author's Note:**

> Every time there's a scene change, feel free to imagine a cheesy PowerPoint transition in true Star Wars style.

Food in the GAR was something to be discussed. Or maybe not. Ration sticks were varying degrees of bland and dry. The mess hall meals had some flavor but, after weeks in hyperspace or in orbit, had the same monotony as ration bars. If someone wanted good food, they’d have to wait for leave. Unless, of course, they took the method that involved not-quite regulations breaking.

Somehow, though, every once in a while, a shipment of supplies would bring in something to liven up meals. A small bundle of juicemelons here, some shuuras there. Once, somehow, some varos, which had led to a large celebration and special dessert. Whenever command was able to get some brightness to the meals in shipments, it was a cause to rejoice. However they managed to sort it out, they received eternal thanks for it. 

The latest shipment had included such a treat, if breakfast was anything to go by. Fives grinned when he saw the options for the day. Stacks of space waffles and various toppings were available. Sitting neatly labeled, easy to grab, was muja sauce. They hadn’t had muja fruit before, so it would be exciting to see how this tasted. 

With a tray full of food, Fives plopped himself down next to Tup. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Tup responded, already digging into his food.

Fives spared a peep at his brother’s plate. “How’s the muja sauce?”

“Pretty good. A tad sweeter than I expected.” 

Fives nodded and set to eating, first eating the bland porridge that was required for vitamins or whatever. He and Tup chatted amicably, recounting the pandemonium that had come from a training game Rex had attempted the previous afternoon. It went well until Focus had— unlike his name suggested— gotten sidetracked and blew up a dummy droid; it was all downhill from there. 

Porridge gone, Fives moved onto the space waffles. Tup hadn’t been kidding: the mujas were the sweetest fruit he’d tasted. 

He must have made a face, as Tup laughed. “See? I wasn’t exaggerating.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Fives said. The waffle itself must’ve been dry; his throat was suddenly a shade scratchy. Eh, so maybe the waffles suffered in favor of the sauce. It wasn’t too big of a deal. A sip of water solved it, anyway. 

He continued his conversation, irritated when the waffles continued to make his throat scratchy. Try as he might, it was hard to ignore. 

“Hey, vod1,” he asked in a lull, “are your waffles making your throat scratchy?”

Tup’s eyebrows furrowed. “No. Are yours?”

Grimacing, he answered, “Yeah. I somehow managed to get the one dry one they made. The sauce and some water helped, though.” 

“That sucks.” 

“I’ll live. You know what does suck?” With that, Fives launched into an explanation of what was rumored to be the Captain’s next training exercise. While it was a rumor, you could never be too careful in preparing for them. The less you could avoid feeling like dying while doing them, the better. 

* * *

The rumor turned out to be just a rumor. But, that was because the training exercises ended up even more strenuous than the rumor stated. 

Fives took a breather, leaning against a wall. He watched while some shinies seemed to have mental breakdowns, struggling to keep up to pace but still fighting through. 

Faintly, he realized his arms were itchy. Huh, that was odd. Looking down, his arms appeared slightly red. That hit to the mat he'd taken earlier must've given him a burn. It wasn't anything he couldn't fight through; he was an ARC trooper, after all.

"Doing good, Fives?" Rex called over to him.

He straightened off the wall. "Never better, sir."

"Good. You're next." 

A fast-paced but by no means short spar later, Fives found himself admiring the ceiling lights, the Captain standing over him. Exhausted and beginning to catch his breath, the itch in his arms made itself present once again. 

“Still good, Fives?” Rex offered his hand and Fives took it, standing up. 

“Uh, yeah. I think I got a floor burn and definitely some bruises, but it’s nothing I can’t deal with.”

Rex patted him on the back, taking a glance at Fives’ forearms. “Hmm, make sure a medic looks over it when you can, just in case.”

“Yessir.” With that, Rex dismissed him to the cycle of training and called up the next trooper to spar. 

As he made his way over to the next station, which was sure to increase in intensity, Fives checked out his arms himself. The redness appeared to be a scattering of small bumps across his arms. Some of the bumps were larger than the others. But the fact that there were bumps... maybe it wasn’t floor burn after all. That would explain why it was itching more than stinging. But what else could it be? 

He reached the station. The redness-debacle could be solved later. He’d tell Kix later; there was stuff to be done. 

* * *

Sometime after lunch, Fives found himself on a patrol shift in the lower levels of the star destroyer. A gaggle of mechanics, squabbling over something or another, were nearby, seemingly working and not working simultaneously. All he had to do was walk the halls. 

With the time available and no obvious threats around, Fives allowed himself to reflect on what was up with his arms. His blaster slung carefully across his back, he took off his left vambrace, gauntlet, and glove then rolled up his blacks to his elbow. 

The bumps stood out brightly against his skin. A floor burn could not have produced them. The ARC trooper had had many before and none of them had ever looked like this. In fact, it almost looked like… a rash. 

Fives thought back to the bit of medical training ARC training had given him. A potential rash with bumps that were itching. And if he counted the scratchy throat he’d had at breakfast as something other than dry space waffles— well, it all added up. 

It looked like Fives had an allergy to muja fruit. 

Interesting. He put his armor back on and continued along with his patrol. That’d be something to tell Kix later. A crash sounded around the corner and Fives pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. _Finally_ , something marginally exciting was happening. Slinging his blaster around, he took off down the corridor. 

* * *

Once off patrol, he headed to the medical bay to talk to Kix. That one crash had led to an action-packed end of patrol involving helping some shinies and forgetting about everything else he’d been thinking about. He remembered he needed to talk to the medic but hadn’t the slightest why. Shrugging to himself, he made his way inside.

Kix was stationed at the front desk for the moment, busy with something Fives couldn’t see over the top of the desk. He paused and looked up as the doors closed behind Fives. “Hey, vod,” he greeted.

“Hey, Kix.”

“You’re not here because you sprained something else, are you?” 

Fives smiled at that. “Not this time. No promises for the future, though.” 

His brother rolled his eyes. “Well, since that’s not the case, feel free to talk about anything. I’m trying to avoid paperwork and also answering Jesse’s comm about how many people a hypothetical stunt he might hypothetically pull he will land in here.”

Fives hummed. Soon enough, the brothers were talking about anything and everything that came to mind. Kix began to flick through some of the datapads stacked high next to him. They talked about the craziest reasons for injuries Kix had encountered recently, what they expected from their upcoming campaign, and more. 

Activity around the bay was low. Out in hyperspace for a few weeks between campaigns had let the majority of the injured to heal. The handful of medics on shift shuffled around between beds, chatting and joking with their patients. One or two visitors sat next to their brother’s beds. For once, the atmosphere was light and easy and not clouded with stress and worry. Fives had no problem leaning against the front desk while talking to his brother. 

With the light conversation and calm, Fives’ thoughts drifted back to what he had discovered on patrol.

“Hey, was Prime allergic to anything?” Fives asked casually.

“I don’t think so," Kix replied, swiping through a datapad. "But if so, the Kaminoans probably engineered it away. Why?”

“Uh, I think I might’ve gotten it.”

“Fives! Vod!" Kix looked like his blood pressure just skyrocketed. He let out a sound that didn’t quite sound human.

“Chill, it only made my throat scratchy for a bit. Plus, I got these little bumps but they’re not that bad. I can deal with it.”

The sound came out again, this time even longer and even less human. Kix shot out of his chair and dove for a nearby container, ruffling through the contents, datapad forgotten. Fives stood and watched idly as his brother began to have a breakdown. “Where are the EpiPens for the nat-born officers!? Those are _kriffing hives, di'kut_!2”

Oh. Oops.

Kix found what looked like two hypos. “Finally!” he exclaimed and rushed over to Fives, pushing him by the shoulder to the nearest bed. The few people on the other end of the medbay who had looked over when Kix shouted made themselves look busy when Fives sent them an apprehensive glance. Once seated, the medic set the hypos aside and began removing the cuisse on Fives’ leg. 

Fives jerked away. “What are you doing?!”

His brother scowled. “Stay still! I’m treating your allergic reaction, what do you think I’m doing?” 

Once Fives stilled, Kix finished removing the armor and took one of the hypos. Uncapping it, he took it and shoved it into his thigh. He looked up and scowled at Fives before moving to dispose of the hypo properly and grab a new datapad from a shelf. 

“Now we wait for five minutes to see if you need a second one or not.”

“A second one?”

His response made Kix’s eyebrows somehow furrow even closer. “Yes, a second one. You’re lucky that the reaction didn’t get any worse than that. When you ignore a reaction, the mild symptoms can suddenly spiral and can turn into anaphylaxis. And that can kill you, Fives.” 

Fives grimaced. “Sorry. I didn’t know it could get worse. At least it didn’t…?” he attempted to reconcile. 

The medic took a deep breath. He then took off Fives’ vambrace, gauntlet, and glove. Inspecting his forearm while pushing the sleeve up, Kix took another breath. “See here, Fives? These are one hundred percent hives. You really thought hives weren’t a big deal?”

“I thought it was floor burn at first,” he admitted. “I didn’t realize they were bumps until I was busy and then things happened and it wasn’t my top priority.”

Kix inclined his head towards the arm he was still grasping. “If this ever happens again, this is your top priority.” He released Fives’ arm, grabbing the hypo that was still sitting on the bed. “This is an EpiPen, and it’ll help you with any future allergic reactions, tayli'bac3? Keep this in your utility belt. And when I say keep it there, I mean always, _always_ have it there. Since you have this allergy, you might have others. We’ll need to do a test sometime soon to check since Kamino didn’t test for them because they normally don’t need to. We’ll have to teach you how to use the EpiPen then as well. You’re going to take this more seriously now, right?”

“Right.” Fives took the hypo and placed it into his utility belt promptly. 

“Okay, so I have to update your health file to reflect your allergy. Hold on a minute.” Fives nodded and Kix started to flick through the datapad in his hands. 

After a minute or so, a little beep sounded. “Alright,” Kix said, placing the datapad down on the bed. “That was the five-minute timer. Arm.” Fives obediently held his arm out. Kix took it, gently twisting it back and forth. “The hives are already swelling down. You won’t need a second one.” 

“Great,” Fives stated tentatively.

“Great,” Kix repeated. “Now either sit here quietly or help me figure out if Prime had an allergy to mujas you somehow got.” He handed Fives a datapad he materialized out of nowhere. 

“Shouldn’t you be watching the front desk?” Fives reminded. 

“Shh,” Kix said. “Coric got it when I went for the EpiPens, anyway.” A quick look over Kix’s shoulder confirmed that, yes, Coric had indeed taken the front desk while Kix treated the ARC. “Now get to work.”

* * *

“What’s up, vode4?” Fives announced his presence, plopping down first his tray and then himself at the table. “Turns out, I have a mutation.”

“WHAT?!” came from three of the four people gathered around. The only one who didn’t react vocally was Kix, who just rolled his eyes from where he sat next to Jesse. If Fives had credits, he would bet that Kix had been waiting for him to say that since they concluded their research earlier.

“What do you mean you have a mutation?!” Tup asked, fork halted halfway to his mouth. “And how did you _just_ find out?!”

“You know how I had a dry waffle this morning?” Tup nodded and Kix snorted. “Turns out, my waffle wasn’t dry. I was having an allergic reaction.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen you scarf down space waffles before. What changed?”

Fives smirked and waited a beat to see if his brothers would figure it out on their own. When no one said anything, he continued, "There was muja sauce today."

Another beat. "Oh!" came the three reactions.

Jesse began to laugh. "Your mutation is a muja fruit allergy? That's gotta suck, dude." 

A shrug. "Eh, now that I know, not too much. The mujas were a bit sweet for my taste, anyway." 

Focus grimaced. "You still suck at lying, Fives." Fives scrunched his nose at the scout but otherwise didn't acknowledge his words, taking a tentative bite of what looked suspiciously like something’s liver.

"Yes, an untreated allergy is something to laugh about," Kix groused. When Jesse laughed at his attitude, Kix shot a glare his way. The lieutenant only laughed harder. 

"What happened?" Jesse prompted, evidently sensing a story to be told.

“I can tell you what happened,” Kix grumbled, stabbing a piece of lettuce. “Kaysh mirsh solus5, Jess. I can’t emphasize that enough.”

Jesse doubled over cackling, clutching his stomach. He set his other arm on the table and buried his face in it. He struggled to form words for a moment, then finally spit out, “The allergic reaction must’ve killed the rest of them.”

“Wow, thanks,” Fives deadpanned. “To both of you.”

“Anytime.” Kix stabbed another piece of lettuce, giving Fives an unbreakable glare. “If you pull anything like this again, I _will_ check if you really do only have one brain cell left.”

“I expected nothing less.” 

Jesse composed himself and rested his elbows on the table and his head on his hands— he was by far the most amused by this. He was going to get stuff out of this for _weeks_ if he played his cards right. His grin was quite possibly one of the biggest ones Fives had ever seen on a brother. His food, which he hadn’t touched since Fives sat down, sat ignored in front of him still. 

“Okay, but seriously,” Focus cut in, “how did you not know you had an allergy to muja fruit?”

Fives swiveled towards the scout. “How did you manage to blow up a training dummy when your name implies that shouldn’t have happened?” he quipped back. “It’s not like I had muja fruit before, and it’s not like that’s something that they tested for on Kamino. None of us are supposed to have allergies!”

“It’s not like we’ve seen anyone have an allergic reaction before,” Tup pointed out. 

“Fine. Fair point,” Focus conceded. 

Fives pointed at Tup. "Actually, he's right. I first thought I had a floor burn from sparring with the Captain."

"I still don't get how you thought hives were a floor burn," Kix griped.

"At _first_ , Kix. I said at first. Once I got a closer look, I noticed otherwise. I just got busy."

The medic shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly and taking a sip from his water. 

"Anyway," Fives continued, avoiding the meat and picking at a blob next to it, "our little bit of research told us Prime wasn't allergic to muja fruit so it really is a random mutation."

"Maybe someone in Prime's biological family had it?" Tup offered.

"Just because allergies can be genetic doesn't always mean they are," Kix supplied. "I wouldn't be surprised either way." 

"Either way, I don't care," Fives said. "What I do care about is that now I have to suffer through an allergy test just to be safe."

“K'atini6. You’re an ARC trooper, you’ve suffered worse.”

Fives scoffed. “Just because I have doesn’t mean I _wanted_ to suffer. Or suffer more, especially because of _you_.”

The group descended into bickering the way only siblings could. Little did they know, a new and improved version of their conversation would take place a mere two days later when it was revealed that Fives was also allergic to yot beans and chando peppers and severely so to zherries after Kix ran the allergy test. 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Brother Back  
> 2\. Idiot Back  
> 3\. Got it? Okay? Understand? (Often very aggressive.) Basically, the Mando'a version of Capisce Back  
> 4\. Brothers. Can refer to the clones as a whole or just a group of them Back  
> 5\. He's an idiot. Lit. "His brain cell is lonely" Back  
> 6\. Suck it up! Or: It's only pain! Back
> 
> My sisters have allergies but they don't have reactions that require EpiPens so if this is in any way inaccurate, please tell me! I researched but I'm still not completely sure if the kind of reaction Fives got would need an EpiPen or not. Also!!! Please be better than Fives and don't postpone telling anyone about a possible allergic reaction! Be smart! Okay, love you guys! Thank you for reading!


End file.
